When Mom's Away Henry's Babysitting Adventure
by Twin-Swords
Summary: Spunoff from my story When Mom's Away the Demons Will Play. A plot bunny inspired by discussion of how bad Henry's day was while Paige was away thanks to magical transport being down. Can stand alone from the parent story. OneShot. COMPLETE!


**Disclaimer**: I don't own Charmed or any of its characters, just this plot bunny that my Muse bestowed me with.

**Author's Note**: I know I've said that I really don't care to write about Paige or Phoebe's family and kids that much. I do focus my attentions on Wyatt and Chris and I always will, but this plot bunny was just too good not to write down. _strikermac_ and I were laughing so hard we had tears in our eyes. This actually is a little sidetrack One Shot that was inspired by When Mom's Away The Demons Will Play. We got to talking about how rough a day that Henry probably had watching the kids and why he was so exhausted when Piper called. Well, if you're curious about what sort of day the man had, read this… and be sure to write a review.

WARNING: Choking Hazard! -- do not eat cheetos (or anything else) while reading this. You have been warned…

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**8:00 a.m.**

"Rise and shine Daddy!"

"Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!"

"Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad!"

"Come on sleepy head, wake up! Mom's been up for an hour!"

"Daaaaaaaaad!"

Henry Mitchell groaned and rolled over, pulling his pillow on top of his head at the two squealing voices. Between that and the jumping up and down on the bed he knew that attempting to return to the peaceful slumber he had rudely been awoken from was impossible now. One of his twin seven-year-old daughters pounced upon his back, while the other pulled the pillow off of his head and shook him.

"Daddy, come on, it's time to get up!"

Paige Matthews Mitchell stood in the doorway that led into her bedroom with a small crooked smile, watching her daughters harass their father into waking up.

"…it's Saturday," Henry's plaintive groan was muffled into the bed, "Paige!"

The twins continued to tug at him, refusing to relent in their attempts to rouse their father. Henry rolled onto his side and cracked an eye open to look at the alarm clock.

"Cartoons, Dad, come watch cartoons with us!" the girls said in unison. The two of them looked at one another and laughed.

"Eight a.m.?!" Henry's pitiful exclamation was greeted by giggles. The man flopped back onto the bed and whimpered. Gone were the days of sleeping in on a Saturday morning until ten. He had learned that lesson ten years ago when he and his wife had adopted their son. A pair of matching brown eyes were batting their lashes at the man as his twin daughters stood up and pulled their father from the bed. "Paiiiiige," Henry complained when he saw his wife standing smugly in the doorway.

"I don't want to hear it, I was up at seven," Paige said with a smile, "There's coffee in the kitchen and I'll have breakfast ready in an hour." 

"We're not going to Piper's?" Henry asked as he was led past his wife, one daughter holding either hand as they drug him from the room towards the stairwell.

"Piper and Leo are in New York this weekend, remember?" Paige asked, smiling as she watched the trio. She shook her head in amusement and then went down the hall to rouse their son for breakfast while the twins led Henry to the Saturday morning cartoon ritual.

Henry had completely forgotten that Paige's sister was going to New York this weekend to open her new restaurant. His two girls didn't release him until he had sat down on the couch and the pair of them snuggled up on either side of him. A swirl of white lights deposited the television remote control into his hand. Henry chuckled and shook his head. Magic. He had come to learn that it was just a part of his life and it had been ever since the moment he had met Paige. His wife was the youngest sister of the Charmed Ones and she was half witch and half whitelighter. It was a fact that had changed his life completely. Sometimes, though, Henry felt very much like Daren Stevens from the old "Bewitched" television show.

He smiled at the remote and turned the television on, flipping channels until he found the cartoon that the girls had wanted to watch. As much as he would have preferred staying in bed for just a little more rest, he wouldn't have traded this for the world. He heard Paige coming back down the stairs followed by a sleepy looking Junior with his brown hair all a mess. The boy followed his mother into the kitchen and Henry watched them go, shaking his head when he saw the sketchpad of paper already in the ten-year-old's hand. Henry corrected his earlier thought immediately. Daren Stevens had it easy. He had never met the Halliwell family.

An hour after Henry had first been awoken and drug down to watch cartoons with his daughters, Paige called from the kitchen to say that breakfast was ready. Patty and Parvati leapt to their feet and ran into the kitchen to take their seats at the table. Henry chuckled and turned off the television, following suit. He took his seat and smiled at his wife. Paige had picked up a couple of things about cooking from her eldest sister over the years and as much as Henry enjoyed the bustling Saturday morning Halliwell ritual of breakfast at the Manor, he had to admit that a peaceful breakfast at home with only his own family was a real gift.

"Why aren't we at Aunt Piper's?" Junior asked as he began cutting into his pancakes.

"Your Aunt Piper and Uncle Leo are in New York," Paige explained to her son.

"Oh," the boy said, satisfied. He shrugged, alternating between shoveling bites of pancake into his mouth and doodling on the sketchpad that he had brought in.

"That means we don't get to see our cousins today… that's my favorite part of Saturday," Patty said with a pouting frown.

"Can we go see Dora later Mom?" Parvati asked, batting her eyelashes sweetly.

Paige looked at Henry across the table and smiled, "We might go visit your Aunt Phoebe and her kids tomorrow, but we'll see." The twins and Phoebe's youngest daughter were nigh inseparable every weekend and any time the family got together.

Breakfast continued in pleasantly uneventful fashion, cheerful family banter. With the end of the meal came the cleaning of the table, while the kids all paraded into the living room. Paige and Henry shared a warm smile with one another and the Parole Officer moved around behind his wife to wrap his arms around her mid section and nuzzle his face into the nape of her neck now that their children were out of sight.

Paige laughed, "You know, you're making cleaning up very difficult Mr. Mitchell."

"Mmm… I think that's the point, Mrs. Mitchell," Henry murmured, spinning his wife around. Paige lifted her arms to wrap around his neck, smiling contentedly at him. He was just leaning his head down to steal a kiss when the jingling chimes sounded their inconvenient interruption. Henry sighed and hung his head forwards.

Paige kissed the top of his head, "That's one of my charges. I should answer that."

"I thought we were going to have a nice Saturday here at home together…" Henry said, "Just me, you and the kids… and no orbing all over to Timbuktu thanks to the whole planetary alignment thing…."

"She's not in Timbuktu, she's in L.A." Paige said, moving her hands to cup his face. The jingle sounded again, a bit more urgently, "I really should go Henry."

Henry stuck out his lower lip and pouted at his wife, "Do you have to?"

"It shouldn't be long. I'll be back before transport goes down and then I promise no more orbing until after one o'clock tomorrow afternoon," Paige said.

"That's because in an hour you won't have a choice," Henry said, holding onto her. He had a devilishly handsome smile on his face, "Can't I persuade you to stay? Hmm?"

The jingle sounded again and Henry sighed, knowing that the answer was no.

"It shouldn't take long sweetie. You know my charges are important. I really have to take care of this. Whitelighters are the glue that holds the magical community together," Paige said.

"Great. I'm married to magical glue," Henry said, "You'd better not be long. I'm just thinking of the last time that you left me alone with Junior and the twins…"

Paige smiled and gave him a kiss, "You'll be fine. I won't even be gone an hour." With that she vanished in a swirl of sparkling white lights.

"…you'd better be back in less than an hour," Henry mumbled, looking at his watch. He looked at the table and sighed. It looked like he was left with clean up duty.

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Henry frowned at the clock in the living room as he sat on the couch. He got up and walked towards the kitchen, then back to the living room again. The twins had gone upstairs to play some game or other since all the good cartoons were off now. Henry Jr. was upstairs too, no doubt in his room filling up a notebook full of his drawings. So long as none of them came to life, Henry was fine with his son's creative imagination. When he and Paige had adopted their first child, Henry had expected him to be a perfectly normal child.

No such luck. As it turned out, their bouncing baby boy was the son of a witch and Henry's hopes of having another mortal in the household were dashed shortly after their son learned how to hold a crayon. Paige had found it incredibly amusing, as had her sisters, and Leo had been no help at all with his favorite phrase: _Everything happens for a reason_. Henry had nearly had a heart attack when he had been watching their four-year-old son and a polar bear had magically appeared from the coloring book the child had been scrawling in.

Henry eyed the clock again and frowned. He was waiting any minute now for his wife to orb back in. The other option was one that he didn't want to entertain. The thought that he might get a 'Honey, I'm going to be a little late' phone call wasn't a pleasant one. So far everything had been rather quiet and peaceful in the Mitchell household. That was perhaps what worried Henry the most. That it _was_ so quiet.

**10:59 a.m.**

Henry looked at his watch again. He compared it to the clock on the wall. "Come on Paige…" he mumbled. She wasn't going to make it back. The dread coiled around Henry's stomach like an icy block.

A frighteningly familiar explosive bang sounded right next to Henry's ear. He felt a tug against his sleeve and a vase full of tulips on the other side of the room shattered before the bullet hit the wall.

BANG! The second gunshot had the police officer diving to the ground behind the sofa and covering his head. Eyes wide, he peered cautiously over the couch. _What the hell?!_ BANG! Another gunshot ripped a chunk out of the wall.

"KIDS STAY UPSTAIRS!" Henry hollered. He didn't have his gun. His heart was in his throat. BANG!

"Jesus…" Henry breathed, "PAIGE!" He looked at his watch, and cursed, "Shit!"

**11:00 a.m.**

No transport. Paige wasn't back, which meant she was stuck in L.A. And Henry was here in his living room with their children upstairs while a pair of very cliché masked robbers were opening fire on him. The phone started to ring and Henry cursed again, peering around the couch and towards the kitchen door. He closed his eyes and said a silent prayer before sprinting across the room in a police crouch. He grabbed the phone and rolled with it as he hit the button to answer it. "Hey honey…" BANG! 

"Henry… what's going on?"

"Just uh… just a little game of cops and robbers…" BANG!

"Oh, my God…" Paige's voice said in alarm.

BANG! Henry scrambled across the floor. What was his son trying to do? Kill him? "PATTY!" Henry shouted, "Go to your brother's room and take whatever he's drawing with away!" BANG! The phone broke apart in Henry's hand, disconnecting him from his wife and he cursed again, shaking his hand out. He winced and dove behind the kitchen counter. "Why me?"

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**12:00 p.m.**

Henry blew out a patient breath. Okay, so it wasn't so patient. It was far from it in fact. His children were seated at the table. Perfectly silent and trying not to contribute further to their father's nervous break down. Once the robbers had vanished thanks to the tearing of the piece of paper his son had drawn them on, he had collapsed and his twin daughters had 'helped' by pouring water on his face to wake him back up. Junior had apologized and had said in his defense that he'd drawn his father a bulletproof vest. It was just supposed to be a game. Henry had almost lost it.

They didn't behave like this when Paige was around. The man stirred the pot of soup and kept counting to ten repeatedly in his head. Heaven help him when Junior became a teenager. Three years… three years… Henry shuddered at the thought of what sort of magical rebellion might be in store for them. Or worse, with teenaged hormones the thought that his son might draw some fashion model to… he really needed to talk to Paige when she got home. Cops and Robbers was just the tip of the iceberg.

The sound of barking and happy laughter accompanied by choruses of 'aww!' behind him had Henry whipping his head around to stare towards the table. He dropped the wooden spoon into the soup bowl.

"No," Henry said as a very large Great Dane came bounding across the kitchen and put its paws on his shoulders, licking him in the face. The girls were ooohing and ahhing over the dog and Junior just sat there at the table smiling and chewing on his pencil. "We cannot have a dog. We most certainly cannot have a magically drawn and conjured dog," the man said as he was knocked back against the counter with a grunt.

"Aww, Daddy! Can't we get a dog?" the girls chorused, "Can we keep him?"

"Absolutely not!" Henry said, "Junior! You are pressing your luck big time kiddo!"

The brunette smiled from the table and took his pencil from his mouth, drawing something else on his piece of paper. Henry paled when he saw the boy hold up the page and blink his eyes at it. _What now? _A red glow followed the outlines of the sketched image and simultaneously with a soft red haze an orange tabby cat materialized on the countertop.

The dog went nuts. The cat freaked out and tore off through the kitchen while the huge canine bounded after it, knocking both of the twins onto the floor. The girls laughed. They laughed even more at the horrified look on their father's face as he took off after the two runaway animals. The cat was screeching, the dog was barking its head off. Something in the living room shattered. As if enough hadn't already been broken during the shoot out.

"Don't hurt the cat!" Patty screamed in sudden realization, running after the dog.

"The cat'll claw him! Don't hurt the dog!" Parvati echoed and the pair of them bolted past their father.

Junior was barely containing his laughter and amusement. He got up from the table to follow the rest of his family, eyes sparkling. Something else shattered and Henry yelped. "For the love of…!" He let out a stream of curse words that were promptly followed by him clapping a hand over his mouth and looking at the girls, "Don't you _dare_ repeat that and don't tell your mother I said that! Junior tear up that piece of paper, right now! Oh, no. Not the--"

CRASH! Henry sighed and rubbed his temples. This was going from bad to worse fast. The man threw his hands up into the air, "If you tear up the paper now, we'll get a cat!"

The sound of shredding paper could be heard and both of the yowling meows and the insane barking stopped instantly as both animals vanished in a red haze. The girls squealing however reached a new joyous octave as they both flung their arms around their father with delighted cries. Henry rubbed the bridge of his nose. Great. They were going to get a cat.

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**12:45 p.m.**

After a very quick lunch, Henry had sent his children upstairs so that he could attempt to clean up the mess. He had sent Junior to his room, really not seeing the humor in this at all any more. When his wife finally managed to make it home they really did need to have a talk. Henry took the dustbin and swept the glass into it, carrying it to the kitchen to deposit it in the trash. He hadn't been in charge of the children for three hours and the house was already demolished. He hoped Paige got home soon. He wasn't sure how much more of this he could take.

A chorus of terrified screams from his daughters made Henry drop the broom and dustbin. Panic snatched him into alert mode.

"DADDY!" Parvati or Patty one cried out from upstairs, the other girl followed with a squeal of, "HELP!"

Henry grabbed two potion vials from the cabinet and raced for the stairs ready to face demons. He pounded up the stairs taking two at a time. "Girls?! JUNIOR?!" he shouted, not rationally thinking of the fact that demons wouldn't have been able to shimmer into the house with magical transportation down. "GIRLS?! JUNIOR!" he shouted again, worried.

My _name_ is Indiana!" the ten-year-old shouted. Henry stopped halfway up the stairs and looked up at his son, staring. The boy was at the top of the stairs dressed in an adventurer's get-up. A very _specific_ adventurer's get-up, complete with a fedora and a bullwhip dangling from his right hand. His left hand had a piece of paper in it. Henry could only imagine what the boy had drawn on the damn thing.

Henry went from being terrified for his children's safety to being angry then back to being worried again. He had heard the girls scream and now he couldn't hear them at all. He fixed his eyes on his son, "Good Lord… where are your sisters?"

The man doubted that Paige _ever_ had this much trouble with their children. Nooooo, they just walked all over _him_. His son had a cocky little smirk on his face and Henry clenched his fists around the potion vials.

"They're a little tied up right now."

"That's not funny. _This_ is not funny," Henry said, "Now… where are your sisters?"

His son, bless the boy, quite seriously said, "The Nazis have them."

Henry did not find the answer the least bit amusing. "…Junior…" he warned, his tone going low and dangerous.

"_Indiana_," the boy repeated, holding up his piece of paper and blinking at it. A red line followed the page before a haze of the same color enveloped Henry's clothes, transforming them into Sean Connery's attire from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Complete with glasses and an umbrella.

"We named the dog Indiana," Henry quoted automatically, unable to stop his mouth from saying the words. His eyes narrowed and he clapped a hand over his mouth. Oh, his son was in _so_ much trouble.

Junior smiled, "Much better. Now, let's go save my sisters!" He turned abruptly, cracking the bullwhip. Henry wanted to cry as he followed his son towards his room to no doubt battle conjured Nazis. Henry was in WAY over his head and he knew it. Worse. His children knew it and were taking full advantage of their mother being out of the house.

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**2:15 p.m.**

One near death experience battling Nazis, rescuing his daughters, and a promise that they would get a dog as long as _Indy_ promised that his sisters would remain unharmed, later…

Patty and Parvati were seated in front of the computer looking at different breeds of dogs and cats that they could get. Heaven help Henry when Paige found out that they were getting a dog and a cat. Henry would rather have a whole house filled with animals at this point than deal with his son though. He wearily rubbed his eyes and stepped into the kitchen to get something to drink.

Indiana, as his son had persisted that he wanted to be called from now on, was sitting in the living room while his sisters were on the computer. A pad of paper in his lap was currently blank, but a smile spread across the boy's face and his pencil went from being chewed on to creating a series of lines on the page. He nodded his head when he was satisfied and blinked his eyes at the page.

Crimson traced the lines he had drawn in the shape of a quarter horse and the red haze appeared just in front of him forming into the animal in question. Tossing his notebook to the side, Indiana grabbed the saddle horn and hefted himself onto the creature. The whinny that the animal made when it reared up onto its back legs had Henry racing from the kitchen. He'd spilled his drink down the front of his shirt, but as he stepped into the living room he was just in time to see the horse and its rider traipsing through the living room, nearly trampling the twins as they backed into a corner.

"THAT'S IT!" Henry shouted, grabbing the notebook from the couch. He tore the page out and shredded it into little pieces.

The horse vanished in a red haze and Indiana was deposited unceremoniously onto the floor. The boy lifted his head and looked towards his father.

Henry clenched his jaw and jabbed his finger in the direction of the stairs, "MARCH. To your room… you are no longer allowed any paper. No pens, pencils, nothing. Got it? A HORSE?!! In the living room?! MOVE IT! UPSTAIRS!"

None of the children had heard that tone of voice from their father and Junior took off at a sprint up the stairs to avoid further wrath. Henry watched him go and immediately went over to the twins, wrapping them in a hug and kissing the tops of their heads, "Are you girls okay?"

The chorus of yeses gave him relief and he released them, trying to hide the fact that his hands were trembling. His son was going to send him to an early grave at this rate. Henry looked towards the stairs. He loved the boy, he really did. And he loved that the kid had an active imagination, but he just couldn't take much more of this. Hopefully being sent to his room without his drawing supplies would put a stop to this behavior until Paige got home. They needed to have a very long talk when she got home…

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**4:00 p.m.**

Silence. Golden silence. The twins were in the living room coloring while Henry bustled around the kitchen starting supper. At least their coloring wasn't going to bring fire-breathing dragons into the house. They had their mother's powers, which meant thanks to the cosmos they didn't have any right now. Junior… er… _Indiana_ was upstairs in his room on lock down. Henry had confiscated all of his paper, pens and pencils that he could find to put an end to the stress. He'd passed by a mirror and had been sure that he had a few new gray hairs. Henry slid the roast into the oven and sighed. He glanced at the clock. It had been quite for almost a whole two hours.

Henry should have known that it wouldn't last. As he turned the knob on the oven he heard the clatter that sounded like pots and pans from the bedrooms above. And rather heavy footsteps. The man looked towards the ceiling, "Am I being punished for something that I did in a past life?" he asked, "Honestly? Am I?"

He headed out of the kitchen. The girls started to get up and he shook his head, "Stay here," he told them. Bounding up the stairs, Henry headed into his son's room and ducked just as a puff of flame seared through the air.

"A Dragon? For Pete's sake…" Henry groaned when he saw his son dressed like a knight and battling the small fire-breathing dragon with a sword. The man scanned the room for the piece of paper and found none. What he did see was the mural scrawled along the wall in purple crayon. Henry sneered and turned around to run back downstairs to grab cleaning supplies.

"Alright _Sir_ Indiana," the belabored father said, "Wash it off."

"But Dad, I haven't slain the dragon yet…"

"Wash. It. Off. Now." Henry said through gritted teeth.

The dragon opened its mouth and blew fire out and 'Sir Indiana' lifted his metal shield to deflect it, waving his sword at the creature. Henry walked over and set the bucket at his son's feet, taking the sword and the shield from his grip.

"NOW."

"Yes sir," Henry Junior sighed, his shoulders slumping as he took the bucket and sponge from his father to start swiping at the wall. The dragon blew another burst of flame forcing Henry to deflect it with the shield. The fantasy creature faded out in a red haze as 'Sir Indiana' swiped the sponge over the drawing. The armor began fading too as he scrubbed at the wall. Henry folded his arms over his chest and watched the process.

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**4:50 p.m.**

The smell of burnt roast hung in the air with the thin haze of smoke in the kitchen. Henry had come down from dealing with Sir Indiana to discover that dinner had been in just a wee bit too long. Henry was nowhere in sight, but the twins sat at the kitchen table eating peanut butter on crackers from the jar. Sir Indiana was sitting on the couch quietly reading a book about cats.

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**5:00 p.m.**

Paige Matthews Mitchell opened the front door to her house, blowing out a breath of relief to finally be home. Today had just been a reminder for her what a true blessing magic and her powers were. Having to take public transportation had been torturous when she was so used to being able to orb wherever she wanted to go in the blink of an eye. Thank goodness this wasn't permanent. She would be glad when one o'clock rolled around tomorrow.

The woman smiled when she saw her son seated on the couch, quietly reading, "Were you a good boy for Daddy?"

Henry Jr. smiled.

Paige set her keys on the side table and walked into the kitchen, frowning at the state of disarray the house was in. It looked like someone had been struggling to clean up a huge mess. As she stepped into the kitchen, Paige's eyebrows shot up. Her two girls were covered in peanut butter and were laughing at one another, they both waved when they saw their mother. Paige let her eyes trail to the stove where a burnt roast sat untouched.

"What in the world is going on?" she asked, blinking. She didn't expect her children to answer her, instead she went in search of her husband.

Paige walked up the stairs and peered into each of the rooms. Her husband was in their son's room, dutifully scrubbing the rest of the purple crayon from the wall. The woman watched him in silence for a moment before she asked, "What happened?"

Henry got up, dropping the rag back into the bucket and turned. Without saying a word he walked over and wrapped his arms tightly around his wife. Paige blinked at the force of the hug and patted his back with a bewildered expression. Henry let go of her and trudged past her, walking across the hallway and into their own bedroom.

"Henry?" Paige asked, watching him.

She followed, looking into their room. Henry collapsed face first onto the bed, not even bothering to take his shoes off. "Magic school…. we're sending him to magic school…" the man's voice muffled into the pillow. He barely got the words out before he was sound asleep.

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**Author's Note**: Now that you've read it, please review!


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